Being away from home, you get to think a lot

I have been thinking a lot about the 'old me', you know...the person you miss being, wether it be the personality, looks, habits etc. and I would always shut myself down and tell myself that "that was years ago, you can never be that person again" and sadly would accept that.

The moral to this story is I have changed my mind - I am not going to accept anything. If I dont like my hair I will change it, if I dont like my clothes I will change that and if I want to look like I did when I was 20 - then I bloody will!

When I was 20 Ben and I were together but still in the stages of pretty seperated lives - but still together, you know. Anyway I used to change my fingernail colour every other day and always kept them manecured and polished, I used to shave/pluck everyday and do all the other girly things and I did care what I looked like regarding clothes. I miss that I used to take such good care of myself.

I understand that I have had two children - and that accounts for a bit of extra weight and a new shape - but becoming a mother should definately not impact every other aspect of my life. Sure, you dont have all the spare time I used to, but as a mother you are so much more organised than when you had the spur of the moment attitude.

So, back to the moral - I am going to give my will power a kick up the arse and I am going to achieve everything that I want to - I wont settle for anything less.

I am starting to notice my body changing - weirdly over the past 2 weeks of being out here. And I am on my way to my 20 year old body (with a few womanly modifications).

Jen and I were talking this morning and she agrees with me and we have decided to give ourselves a 'challenge' and compete with each other (as we have done our whole lives) because we can. So Jen - first one with a bikini body wins LOL. This is not about being the thinest - this is about having the motivation to get back what we have lost (hey Jen).

So Jen, email me your current bikini body and I will do the same when I get home. And the first one who is happy with the result is the winner (we will both be winners ;) i am sure)

Ok chicky...game on! Eat healthy, be positive, excersise as much as you want, drink stacks of water, get plenty of sleep and lets turn this light on at the end of the tunnel. Starting.....................................NOW!